Finally the Govt. has come to thier senses.

Kyle Orton has just been invited by the CIA to head up the experimental thermal face protection unit. Kyle bring his vast knowledge of warm necks, and strategic hair placement technology to the team. They will also be studying the effects of Jack and Money, when encountering the ever present "Bar Slut". We hope to report the findings in next month's edition of "Kyle Orton Monthly".

Hearts are breaking all over the world.

Yes, it is true ladies. Kyle Orton is officially off the market. We all the stories of Kyle walking into gaggle of hoes, and the sound of eggs dropping could be heard from across the room. (bloop, bloop, bloop) Here's to you Kyle, and your child bride, may you bring forth mini-neckbeards to follow in your furry awesomeness.