Oh Snap

Cowboy Orton.

Our very own Kyle will be gracing the cover Novembers issue of "Neckbeard Monthly". Included are an in depth interview of Kyle talking about keeping his bundle of neck whiskers happy, what he mixes with his whiskey at home, and the REAL reason he did not throw for 6 touchdowns against the Chargers.

Kyle Orton .vs. The world

Recently, I watched a football game between two teams; the Denver Broncos, and the New England Patriots. Some say it was a chance to see if Kyle Orton could "Hang" with the likes of Tom Brady. Tom Brady decided to step on his dick for most of the extended game, Kyle Orton did not. He decided to unleash his fury on the unsuspecting Pats' D, effectively smiting their mark asses. Because folks, Kyle Orton only knows how to do three things. 1. Pound Jack
2. Sword Trim
3. Score TD's

How to make a Kyle Orton Halloween Costume

Halloween is here, and since you want to be a true player you have a few choices, like
Michael Jackson, the Balloon Boy, or Kyle Orton. Here is how you can make your own costume and rock the party.

1) Get a beard like so:

2) Get some Jack Daniels

3) Get some fresh gear

4) Get some chicks

5) Get some accessory's such as:

or

and Bam, you have your own Kyle Orton Party.

What NFL quarterbacks do on their days off

Kyle Orton does not give a rats ass about you.

Orton left his neck scarf at home, and is looking for a good time. All that is on his mind on his day off is some good ole Kentucky bourbon, and throwing some touchdowns. Don't bother asking him for an autograph, or a picture. He does not have time for such shenanigans. He will cut you.

Orton for MVP?

That's right, you heard it here first. Well right after Schefter , and ESPN. So thirdish, but anyway, Kyle has begun to blaze his path to the Hall of Fame. Now it is a mere formality that he be given the MVP, for he needs no award to be placed in the gilded hallows of pro football infamy. May the Ort be with you.

Finally the Govt. has come to thier senses.

Kyle Orton has just been invited by the CIA to head up the experimental thermal face protection unit. Kyle bring his vast knowledge of warm necks, and strategic hair placement technology to the team. They will also be studying the effects of Jack and Money, when encountering the ever present "Bar Slut". We hope to report the findings in next month's edition of "Kyle Orton Monthly".